Dare To Love

Day 24~ Love VS Lust

2012-02-17T17:34:00.000-08:00

1 John 2:17

And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.

There is a progression . LUST

EYES-To HEART-To ACTION..then to shame and regret

Lust is the opposition to love. It means to set your heart and passion on something forbidden. For a believer it is the first step out of fellowship with the Lord and with others. The person or thing you lust after seems to promise a sheer satisfaction, but is more like a bottomless pit of unmet longings.

Lust breeds more lust.

James 4:1-2

From whence [come] wars and fightings among you? [come they] not hence, [even] of your lusts that war in your members Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not.

It breeds anger, numb hearts, and destroys marriages.

Let's read 2 Peter 1:3-4

According as his divine power hath given unto us all things that [pertain] unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue: Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.

Are you tired of being lied to by lust? Then begin to set your eyes on the Word of God. Let His promises of peace and freedom work their way into your heart.

Whole you're at it, set your eyes and heart on your spouse again. (Read Proverbs 5:18-21)

Today's Dare

Identify every object of lust in your life and remove it. Single out every lie you've swallowed in pursuing forbidden pleasure and reject it. Lust cannot be allowed to live in a back bedroom. It must be killed and destroyed today, an replaced with the sure promised of God and a heart filled with His perfect love.

Day 23~Love Always Protects

2012-01-17T12:14:00.000-08:00

1 Corinthians 13:7

Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

Marriage is made up of several things including: joy, sorrow, successes, and failures.

There are many battles in marriage. As a wife or a husband we must expect marriage at times to be a battlefield. Your marriage has enemies out there!

Harmful influence: Are you allowing certain habits to poison your home? The internet and television can be productive and enjoyable additions to your life, but they can also bring in destructive content and drain away precious hours from your family.

Unhealthy Relationships: Who are the people you are hanging out with or talking to during your day? Not all relationships are healthy. If these people undermine your marriage then it is a sure sign that they are NOT people you should be hanging out with. Are you friends with the opposite sex?

Shame: You need to protect your wife or husband's vulnerability by never speaking negatively about them in public.

Parasites: A parasite is anything that latches onto you or your partner and sucks the life out of your marriage. Examples: gambling, pornography, drugs, ect. Marriages rarely survive if parasites are present.

Read Ezekiel 34:8

Today's Dare

REMOVE ANYTHING THAT IS HINDERING YOUR RELATIONSHIP, ANY ADDICTION OR INFLUENCE THAT'S STEALING YOUR AFFECTIONS AND TURNING YOUR HEART AWAY FROM YOUR SPOUSE.

Interested?

2012-01-16T12:43:00.000-08:00

I have received a few request to finish the love dare challenge. I you are interested please send me a note at brwaau38@yahoo.com

Day 22 Love Dare

2011-07-14T15:53:00.000-07:00

Love Is Faithful

Hosea 2:20

I will even betroth thee unto me in faithfulness: and thou shalt know the LORD.

The account of the prophet Hosea is one of the most remarkable in the Bible. Against all logic and propriety, God instructed him to marry a prostitute. He wanted Hosea's marriage to show what Heaven's unconditional love looks like towards us.

Jesus called us to this kind of love in the passage known as the Sermon on the Mount. He said to " love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you"(Luke 6:27-28).

Today's Dare

Love is a choice, not a feeling. It is an initiated action, not a knee-jerk reaction. Choose today to be committed to love even if your spouse has lost most of their interest in receiving it. Say to them today in words similar to these, "I love you. Period. I choose to love you even if you don't love me in return."

Day 21~ Love Is Satisfied In God

2009-10-07T23:10:00.000-07:00

Day 21

Is 58:11
And the LORD shall guide thee continually, and satisfy thy soul in drought, and make fat thy bones : and thou shalt be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not.

Remember your hope and Faith in Christ...

Your husband may be late coming home. Again. But God will always be on time.
Your wife may let you down. Again. But God can always be trusted to deliver on His promises.
God Is Our Hope...ask Him
Phil 4:6-7
Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

God will supply all your needs....
Phil 4:19

Today's Dare

Be intentional today about making a time to pray and read your bible. Try reading a proverbs each day (there are 31) or read a chapter a Day of the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John). As you do immerse yourself in the love and promises God has for you. This will add to your growth as you walk with Him.

Question
How do you think spending time daily with God will change your situation and perspective? How can you make Him a bigger part of your day?

Day 20 Love Dare

2009-10-07T23:05:00.000-07:00

***This is just the dare written out for you. I don't have much time to cature more but will try in the days ahead.

Day 20~Dare
Love Is Jesus Christ

Dare to take God at His Word. Dare to trust Jesus Christ for Salvation. Dare to Pray
"Lord, Jesus, I'm a sinner. But you have shown your love for me by dying on the cross to forgive me of my sins, and you have proven your power to save me from death by your Resurrection. Lord, change my heart, and save me by your grace.

Day 19 'Love Is Impossible'

2009-04-13T17:30:00.000-07:00

1 John 4:7

Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.

You cannot manufacture unconditional love (or agape love) out of your own heart. Only God can do this through you. How many times has your love failed to keep you from lying, from lusting, from overreacting, from thinking evil of this person you've vowed before God to love the rest of your life? How many times has it proven to be incapable of controlling your anger?

It is this failure that exposes mankind's sinful nature.
Romans 3:23
We are guilty as charged before allmighty God
Romans 6:23

Love is from God
1 John 4:7

Apart from God you can do nothing
John 15:5

But God said, if we abide in Him....John 15:7

Ephesians 3:19

God can do abundantly and above all that we could think or ask
Eph 3:20

The Holy Spirit is our help.
Romans 5:5

Today's Dare
Looking over the past Dare's was there something you thought you were incapable of doing? Have you realized your need for God's help in your life? Have you asked God to change your heart and give you the ability to LOVE as he tells us in His Word?

Do you know for SURE where your eternal destination is when you die? Oh my friend, without this you have nothing, but an eternal hell waiting for you. Sounds harsh but there is a penalty for our sins. The only way to Heaven is through Jesus Christ, and accepting him as your PERSONAL Savior. I pray that today if you are here on this blog reading this that the Lord would speak to you, and that you will accept His precious Gift of Salvation!!! It is a GIFT, and all you must do is repent of your sins and accept this eternal gift. Jesus has paid it all on the cross just for you to have an eternal home in Heaven.

Have Questions
Please e-mail me at Brwaau@gmail.com

Note From Brandie

2009-04-02T09:09:00.000-07:00

I am going to be out of town for a few days. I will hopefully be able to post either Sunday evening or Monday :)

Have a blessed weekend. I am praying for you ladies.
Hugs,
Brandie

Day 18 Love Seeks To Understand

2009-03-30T11:20:00.000-07:00

Love Seeks To Understand

Proverbs 3:13

Happy [is] the man [that] findeth wisdom, and the man [that] getteth understanding.

How much do you know about your spouse?

You start off admiring and building respect for the man you desired to be with. But after marriage, those feelings begin to fade as reality reveals that your "Prince" is a flawed and imperfect man.

There are things still to discover about your husband.

Proverbs 13:15

Good understanding giveth favour: but the way of transgressors [is] hard.

Some of the problems you are having with your spouse stem because you don't understand them. We tend to revile those things we don't understand (Jude 10)

Listen (Proverbs 10:14)

Ask God For Discernment (Proverbs 2:6)

Today's Dare

Prepare a special dinner for your husband. Focus on getting to know your husband better, perhaps in areas that you've rarely talked about. Determine to make it enjoyable!

Questions

What did you learn about your spouse?

How can you continue getting to know your husband more?

What were some of the moments that made this evening memorable?

Day 17~ Love Promotes Intimacy

2009-03-28T09:27:00.000-07:00

Proverbs 17:9
He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth [very] friends.

Marriage is the most intimate of all human relationships. Each of us come into this world with an inborn hunger to be known, loved, and accepted.

Your mate should not feel pressured to be perfect in order to receive your approval. They should not walk on egg shells.

1 John 4:8
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.

If these are areas you have failed in it may take awhile for your mate to gain trust again. You must begin to rebuild trust. The reality of intimacy always takes time to develop, especially after being compromised.

Today's Dare
Determine to guard your mated secrets unless they are dangerous to them or you. Talk with your spouse and resolve to demonstrate Love spite of these issues. Really listen to them when they share personal thought, and struggles with you. Make them feel safe.

Questions:
How much of an effort is it for you to hold back from saying something, critical or otherwise? What have you learned about your spouse simply by listening?

Been MIA....sorry :)

2009-03-28T09:11:00.000-07:00

Day 16~ Love Intercedes

2009-03-17T10:30:00.000-07:00

You cannot change your spouse. As much as you may want to, you cannot play God and reach into their heart and mold them into what you want them to be. But that's what most couples spend a large part of their time trying to do — change their spouse.
Insanity has been described as doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. But isn't that what happens when you try to change your mate?

You can become a "wise farmer."
A farmer cannot make a seed grow into a fruitful crop. He cannot argue, manipulate, or demand it to bear fruit. But he can plant the seed into fertile soil, give it water and nutrients, protect it from weeds, and then turn it over to God. Millions of farmers have made a livelihood from this process over the centuries. They know that not every seed sprouts. But most will grow when planted in proper soil and given what they need.

There is no guarantee that anything in this book will change your spouse. But that's not what this book is about. "It's about you daring to love. If you take the Love Dare seriously, there is a high likelihood that you will be personally changed from the inside out.

Prayer really does work. It's a spiritual phenomenon created by an unlimited, powerful God. And it yields amazing results.

Do you feel like giving up on your marriage? (Luke 18:1)
Are you stressed out and worried? Prayer can bring peace to your storms(Philippians 4:6-7)
Do you need a major breakthrough? Prayer can make the difference(Acts 12:1-17)

Today's Dare

BEGIN PRAYING TODAY FOR YOUR SPOUSE'S
HEART. PRAY FOR THREE SPECIFIC AREAS
WHERE YOU DESIRE FOR GOD TO WORK IN

YOUR SPOUSE'S LIFE AND IN YOUR MARRIAGE.

Questions
Have you experienced the power of prayer in the past? What did you choose to pray about? Was it easy for you, or did it feel foreign to you?

Day 15~Love Is Hornorable

2009-03-16T05:39:00.000-07:00

Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with [them] according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.(1 Peter 3:7)

There are certain words in our language that have powerful meanings. One word we will focus on today is 'Honor'

To honor someone means that you give them respect and high esteem, to treat them as being special and of great worth. Honoring your husband means giving him your full attention.

The other word is 'Holy'
Holiness means set apart for a higher purpose, no longer common or every day, but unique. He is sacred to you, a person to be honored, praised and defended.

Love honors even when it's rejected.
Love treats it's beloved as special and sacred even when an ungrateful attitude is all you get in return.
Romans 12:10
[Be] kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;

Today's Dare

Choose a way to show honor and respect to your husband above your normal routine.

Day 14~ Love Takes Delight

2009-03-12T09:44:00.000-07:00

Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that [is] thy portion in [this] life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun. (Ecclesiastes 9:9 KJV)

One of the most important things you should learn in this love dare journey is that you should not follow your heart. You need to LEAD IT!

You will not always feel like loving.

Enjoy your spouse

Desire his conversation

If your irritable, it is because you choose to be.

Read Song Of Solomon 2:3-4

As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, so [is] my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit [was] sweet to my taste. [4] He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me [was] love. (Song of Songs 2:3-4 KJV)

Today's dare may be directing you to a real change of heart.

It is your responsibility to relearn what you LOVE about your spouse.

Today's Dare

Purposefully neglect an activity you would normally do so you can spend quality time with your husband. Do something he would love to do or a project he would really like to work on. Does he tinker in the garage, or out in the shop? Sit with him out there and just enjoy at chat together. Does he have a favorite TV show he likes to watch but you would rather no watch? Sit with him. Just be together.

Questions

What did you decide to give up? What did you do together? How did it go? What new thing did you learn or relearn?

We will resume Love Dare 3-9-09

2009-03-09T09:03:00.000-07:00

We will resume Love Dare tomorrow, sorry for the delay...we are doing a challenge this week, NO TV, Computer, Video Games for the week from 8-6:00. So I will be up early tomorrow to post.
Hugs,
Brandie

Day 13~ Love Fights Fair

2009-03-06T20:07:00.000-08:00

And if a house be divided against itself, that house cannot stand. (Mark 3:25 KJV)

Like it or not conflict in marriage is inevitable. When you tied the knot as bride and groom, you joined not only your hopes and dreams but also your hurts, fears, imperfections, and emotional baggage.

The storms of life come and you are soon tested......as they come it reveals what you're really made of!

Today's Dare is about Conflict and how to deal with it. The deepest, most heartbreaking damage you'll ever do to your marriage will most likely occur in the thick of conflict.

The wisest way is to learn to fight clean by establishing healthy rules of engagement.

There are two types of boundaries "we" and "me" boundaries

"We" boundaries are rules you both agree on beforehand, rules that apply during any fight or altercation.

1) We will never mention divorce.

2) We will not bring up old, unrelated items from the past.

3) We will never fight in public or in front of our children.

4.) We will call a "time out" if conflict escalates to a damaging level.

5) We will never touch each other in a harmful way.

6) We will never go to bed angry with one another.

7) Failure is NOT an option. Whatever it takes, we will work this out.

"Me" Boundaries~ personal rules you practice

1) I will listen first before speaking (James 1:19)

2) I will deal with my own issues up front. (Mat 7:3)

3) I will speak gently and keep my voice down. (Prov 15:1)

Disagree with DIGNITY! It should be building a bridge instead of burning one down.

Today's Dare

Talk to your spouse about establishing healthy rules of engagement. If your mate is not ready for this, then write out your own personal rules to "FIGHT" by. Resolve to abide by them when the next disagreement occurs.

Day 12~ Love let's the other win

2009-03-04T06:29:00.000-08:00

Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.

Philippians 2:4 KJV

*If you were asked to name 3 areas where you and your spouse disagree, you'd likely be able to do it without thinking very hard.

*Unfortunately stubbornness comes as a standard feature on both husband and wife models. Defending your rights and opinions is a foundational part of your nature and make up. But it can cause frustration in both of you.

* Our priorities, morals, and obedience to God should be guarded with great effort. But to often we debate over piddling things.

* The opposite of stubbornness is willing. It is a attitude and spirit of cooperation that should permeate our conversation. It is like a palm tree by the ocean that endures the greatest winds because it knows how to gracefully bend. Our Example you ask? It is Jesus Christ.He had the right to be served~ But instead He served others. He had the right to live in peace and safety but willingly laid down His life for our sins. He loved, cooperated, and was willing to do His fathers will instead of His own.

Philippians 2:2-8

Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, [being] of one accord, of one mind. [Let] nothing [be done] through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.

* Are you willing to be the one to say " I am willing to go your way?"...if you do then the argument can be over. It may cost some pride and discomfort, but you have made a loving, lasting investment in your marriage.

* Stop insisting your own way.

But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, [and] easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. (James 3:17 KJV)

Today's Dare

Demonstrate Love by willingly choosing to give in to an area of disagreement between you and your spouse. Tell them you are putting their preference first!

Questions

What issue did you choose? What did giving in cost you? How will this help you in the future.

Day 11~ Love Chrishes

2009-03-03T09:13:00.001-08:00

Ephesians 5:28-30

So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

* The problem within our culture is that marriage is more often treated in the wrong light. When your marriage experiences difficulty, you are urged by the world to dump your spouse for a "newer model"

* Our view must me that we have a significant bond in the marriage. As husband and wife you are part of one another.....you are now ONE unit. You would never cut off your hand if it was injured. Your hand is a part of who you are.
* When you mistreat your husband, you are also mistreating yourself. Your spouse cannot experience joy or pain, blessing or cursing, without it effecting you.
* Don't let the culture around you determine the worth of your marriage.

Today's Dare

What need does your spouse have that you could meet today? Can you run an errand? Give a back rub, or foot massage? Choose a gesture that says " I cherish you" and do it with a smile.

Questions

What did you choose to show that you cherish your husband?
What did you learn from this experience?

Day 10~Love Is Unconditional

2009-03-02T05:30:00.000-08:00

Romans 5:8

But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

Somethings to Ponder

*If someone asked you why you loved your husband, what would be your answer? Women would probably mention...his personality, his looks, his consistent character, or that he is a hard worker ect....

*What if over the years of your marriage your husbands stopped having theses Characteristics? Would you stop loving your husband? If it be true your basis for love is over.

* The only way love can last a lifetime is if it's unconditional. The Truth...... Love is not determined by the one being loved but rather by the one choosing to love. The name for this love is called agape.

*There are other types of Love also: Phileo (friendship) and Eros (sexual love). Both friendship and sex have an important place in marriage.

*Phileo and Eros are more responsive in nature and can fluctuate based upon feelings. Agape love, on the other hand, is selfless and unconditional.

* Is you Love for your husband based on feelings or circumstances rather than commitment? The foundation in the marriage must be Agape!

* You ask why all these broken families, all the nasty divorces???? Because their LOVE was not based upon Agape Love, but rather upon phileo, and eros.

* Agape, is God's kind of Love, He doesn't Love us because we are lovable but because He is so loving.....Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son [to be] the propitiation for our sins. (1 John 4:10 KJV)

Love...."Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things." (1 Corinthians 13:7 KJV)

This Love( Agape) does not come from within....IT COMES FROM GOD!

You must not say....I LOVE you because, but rather I Love You period!!!

DARE TODAY
Do something out of the ordinary for your husband~ Something that proves (to you and him) that your love is based upon your choice and nothing else! Be creative....Demonstrate LOVE to him for the sheer joy of being their partner in marriage.

Questions?

Has your love in the past been based on your spouses attributes and behavior, or your commitment? How can you continue to show love when it's not returned in a way you hoped for?

Day 10~ Sharing before day 10's Dare

2009-03-02T05:00:00.000-08:00

This dare is really important, we really are NOT taught this in the world. God has a perfect design for marriage but when we ignore the manual in which we should go by.......marriages are in shambles!

I fell into the trap of lies that society taught.......When you have fallen out of love, or when things got to tough....It is time to move on with a divorce! Huhhhh! Marriage is very dear to my heart, I guess because the Lord has done absolute miracles in my own marriage. I have a GREAT desire and calling from the Lord to share what the Lord can do in your marriage if you are only open to cling to the HOPE in his Word...The Bible! Now I must confess I am a work in progress.....My marriage is not where it is suppose to be but I really have a great desire to get there, and I know I have come a long ways from where I began.

Yesterday, in fact was a day we totally regressed to some of our old patterns......fighting that flesh, and guess what we gave into the flesh I am sorry to say! In order to stay on top of your marriage there has to be some key things in place. I love today's dare and I pray we can all take heed and learn from what God will teach us in these up-coming weeks of the Love Dare.

Lord,
I am so weak, in the flesh and struggle to walk in the Spirit. You have given us this SPECIAL tool in our walk with you, but there are times we just lay that tool down and forget it is there to use. Forgive me Lord for my sin in my marriage, the pain and hurt I caused. I pray Lord, that you would revive my marriage again and help us grow to be examples of what a godly marriage looks like. Help me to focus on my shortcoming and work to be the godly wife, and not to focus on my husbands shortcomings. I feel like we are so far from that Lord, but I do know there is always HOPE, when you YOU are involved, when we allow your Spirit to work and move in our lives. I thank you for all you have done in my marriage and I look forward Lord to see what blessings you have in my marriage.
Amen...

Day 9~ Love makes good impressions

2009-02-28T18:00:00.000-08:00

Day 9!

We have made it over a weeks worth of dares ladies, give yourself a pat on the back, and more importantly give God the glory!!!

We have covered some serious ground. Learning to demonstrate aspects of Love

Greet ye one another with a kiss of charity~ 1 Peter 5:14

*You can tell a lot about the state of a couple's relationship from the way they greet one another.

*Do you stop to consider...the difference it would make in your husband's day if everything about you expresses the fact that you were really, really glad to see him?

* When you communicate that you are glad to see your husband, his personal self-worth increases, he feels valued. A good greeting set's the stage for positive and healthy interaction. Like Love, it puts wind in the sails.

* Remember Love is a choice. So choose to change your greeting. Choose Love.

Today's Dare

Think of a specific way you'd like to greet your spouse today. Do it with a smile and with enthusiasm. Then determine to change your greeting to reflect your love for him!

Question?

When and where did you choose to do your special greeting? How will you change your greetings from this point on?

How are we coming along ladies?

2009-02-26T13:53:00.001-08:00

How are you doing with the Love Dare? Is it helping? Are you able to do it each day? Are you keeping a personal journal of your progress? Is your mate responding? Does this blog form help you?

Should I just postthese in my other blog and erase this blog?

Thanks for your input. I was hoping to have more ladies join. But I know this is a time consuming thing. Hope you are benefiting from it.

Praying for both of your marriages daily :) I am proud of you both for wanting to make a difference in your marriage!

Hugs,

Brandie

Day 8 " Love is not jealous"

2009-02-25T18:35:00.000-08:00

Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love [is] strong as death; jealousy [is] cruel as the grave: the coals thereof [are] coals of fire, [which hath a] most vehement flame. (Song of Songs 8:6 KJV)

Wrath [is] cruel, and anger [is] outrageous; but who [is] able to stand before envy? (Proverbs 27:4 KJV)

Jealousy is one of the strongest drives known to man. It comes from the root word zeal and means "to burn with intense fire."

Two Forms Of Jealousy~

Legitimate~ based upon love

Illegitimate~ based upon envy

Today's Dare

Determine to become your spouse's biggest fan and to reject any thoughts of jealousy. To help you set your heart on your spouse and focus on their achievements, take yesterday's list on negative attributes and discreetly burn it. Then share with your spouse how glad you are about a success he recently enjoyed.

Day 7 Love believes the best....

2009-02-24T12:50:00.000-08:00

1 Corinthians 13:7

(Love:)(Charity) Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

There are 2 rooms in your heart

1. Appreciation Room
2. Depreciation Room

The Appreciation Room

*Where your thoughts go when you encounter positive and encouraging things about your spouse.
* You enjoy the visit to the Appreciation room.
*On the walls in the appreciation room are written words and phrases describing the good attributes of your mate. Example: honest, wonderful cook, intelligent,beautiful eyes, or hard worker. (they are things you have discovered about your husband that have embedded themselves in your memory.
* As you think on these things your appreciation for your spouse increases.

The Depreciation Room
* On the walls in this room is things that bother or irritate you about your spouse.
* These things were placed there out of frustration, hurt feelings, and disappointments of unmet expectations.
*This room is lined with the weaknesses and failures of your husband. (their bad habits)
*Here are written very hateful things about their mate.
* It is where ammunition is kept for the next fight. (bitterness is allowed to spread here)
* People fall out of love here.
* Divorces are plotted in this room.
*The more time you spend here, the more your heart devalues your spouse.

Love knows about the Depreciation Room and does not live in denial it exists. BUT Love chooses not to live there.
Love chooses to believe the best about people. It gives them the benefit of the doubt.
Love focuses on the positive.

The only reason you should glance in the door to the Depreciation Room is to know how to pray for your spouse. The only reason you should go into the room is to write "COVERED IN LOVE"
And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.
(1 Peter 4:8 KJV)
We must develop the habit of reining in your negative thoughts and focusing on the positive attributes of your mate.

Today's Dare

Get two sheets of paper~ On the first sheet, spend a few minutes writing out positive things about your spouse. Then do the same with the negative things on the second sheet of paper. Place both sheets in a secret place for another day. At some point during the remainder of the day, pick a positive attribute from the first list and thank your husband for having that characteristic.

Question

Which list was easier to make? what did this reveal about your thoughts? What attribute did you thank your spouse for having?

Day 6 Love is not irritable'

2009-02-22T19:00:00.000-08:00

He that is] slow to anger is better than the mighty;
and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.
(Proverbs 16:32 KJV)
*Love is hard to offend and quick to forgive. How easily do you get irritated and offended?
*People who are irritated are locked, loaded, and ready to overreact.
* When under pressure Love doesn't turn sour.
* A loving wife is not overly sensetive or cranky but exercises emotional self-control.
*Ask yourself am I calm breeze or am I storm waiting to happen?
* Life is a marathon not a sprint.
* Love will lead you to forgive instead of holding a grudge.

Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; [13] Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also [do] ye. [14] And above all these things [put on] charity, which is the bond of perfectness. (Colossians 3:12-14 KJV)

Today's Dare
Choose today to react to tough circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation. Begin making a list of areas where you need to add margin to your schedule. Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life.

Questions
Where do you need to add margin to your life? When have you recently overreacted? What was your real motivation behind it?

What decisions have you made today?

Day 6 Note

2009-02-22T08:38:00.001-08:00

I will post day 6 later today after church:)

Day 5 "Love Is Not Rude"

2009-02-21T06:23:00.000-08:00

Sorry we missed yesterday, if you already did it. thats ok :)

He that blesseth his friend with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, it shall be counted a curse to him. (Proverbs 27:14 KJV)

* Nothing irritates others as quickly as being rude.
* Rudeness is unnecessarily saying or doing things that are unpleasant for another person to be around.
* To be rude is to act unbecoming, embarrassing, or irritating.
* If you Love your husband you will desire to love, and purposefully avoid things that frustrate him, or cause him discomfort.
* Bottom Line~ Genuine love minds its manners.

[It is] better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman and in a wide house. (Proverbs 25:24 KJV)

Test yourself
1.) How does your husband feel about the way you speak and act around them?
2.) How does your behavior affect your husbands sense of worth and self esteem?
3.) Would your husband say you're a blessing, or that you're condescending and embarrassing?

Guideline Principles To Practice
1.) Guard the golden rule. Treat your husband the same way you want to be treated (see Luke 6:31)
2.) No double standards. Be considerate to your spouse as you are to strangers or co workers.
3.) Honor request. Consider what your husband already asked you to do or not to do. If in doubt, then ask.

Today's Dare

Ask your husband to tell you three things that cause him to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking him or justifying your behavior. This is from their perspective only.

Question At the end of the day

What things did your spouse point out about you that need your attention? How did you handle hearing it? What do you do to plan to do to improve these areas?

Day 4 " Love Is Thoughtful"

2009-02-19T16:29:00.000-08:00

How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them! [If] I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee. (Psalms 139:17-18 KJV)

* Love Thinks
* If you don't learn to be thoughtful, you end up regretting missed opportunities to demonstrate love.
* Love requires thoughtfulness~ Built through the constructive combination of patience, kindness, and selflessness.

Todays's Dare

Contact your spouse sometime during the business of the day. Have no agenda other than asking how he is doing and if there is anything you could do for them.

Question after today's dare....

What did you learn about yourself or your spouse by doing this today? How could this become a more natural, routine, and genuinely helpful part of your lifestyle?

Day 3 'Love Is Not Selfish'

2009-02-18T13:50:00.000-08:00

Romans 12:10
[Be] kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;

* The opposite of Love is selfishness
* Almost every sinful action ever committed can be traced back to a selfish motive!
* When a wife constantly complains about the time and energy she spends meeting the needs of her husband, that's a sign of selfishness.
* When you prioritize the well being of your mate, there is a resulting fulfillment that cannot be duplicated by selfish actions.
* Love leads to inner joy.

Today's Dare

Whatever you put your time, energy, and money into will become more important to you. It's hard to care for something you are not invested in. Along with restraining from negative comments, buy your spouse something that says " I was thinking of you today".

Question at the end of Day 3
What did you choose to give your husband? What happened when you gave it?

Day 2 'Love Is Kind'

2009-02-17T10:30:00.000-08:00

And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. (Ephesians 4:32 KJV)

Breaking down Kindness
Gentleness: You speak the truth in LOVE

Helpfulness: Meeting the needs of the moment.(example: housework,a listening ear,ect

Willingness: Kindness Inspires you to be agreeable.

Initiative: Kindness thinks ahead, then takes the first step. The one to greet first, smile first, serve first, and forgive first.

Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart: [4] So shalt thou find favour and good understanding in the sight of God and man. (Proverbs 3:3-4 KJV)

She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue [is] the law of kindness. (Proverbs 31:26 KJV)

Day Two Dare
In addition to saying nothing negative to your spouse again today, do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness.

Questions:

What discoveries about love did you make today? What specifically did you do in this dare? How did you show kindness?

Reflections After Day 1

2009-02-17T03:53:00.000-08:00

I think we all have different struggles in our marriage. As believers we are at different stages in our walk and we may have different convictions. My husband and I don't share some of the same convictions, so this can be a trigger for me. Yesterday, as I was getting dinner finished, I looked over to see the TV had something I didn't feel was appropriate. I could feel myself begin to get frustrated....but then I remembered our challenge for the day! (I am not saying you can not voice your opinion to your husband, but we must do it in a godly manner.) It is not our job to be the Holy Spirit, that is God's work. As I remembered this I refocused my thoughts. I stopped and prayed for the situation, and left it at that.
Thank You Jesus! I made it through :)

PS. We had a great evening together as a family, and last night before bed Wayne said to me, "You treat me so well, you are so good to me". I was so grateful to hear him say this. Our marriage is so different than it use to be. God is restoring it! I can honestly say through God, and ONLY through God can we begin to look differently at what our marriages should be. God's ways are perfect....if we do it the way the BIBLE says it, our marriages can be restored.

Day One "Love Is Patient"

2009-02-16T09:01:00.000-08:00

Ok Ladies here we go.....Day 1

1 Corinthians 13:13
And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these [is] charity.
Ephesians 4:2
With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love;

Love is life's most powerful motivator!
Love changes our motivation for living.
Love is built on two pillars: Patience & Kindness
Love will inspire you to become a patient person.
Patience brings an internal calm during an external storm.
Patience stops problems in their tracks.
~Quotes from The Love Dare

www.fireproofmymarriage.com

What To Do Today

"Although love is communicated in a number of ways, our words often reflect the conditions of our heart. Today resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all. If the temptation arises, choose not to say anything.
It is better to hold your tongue than to say something you'll regret."
1 Thessalonians 5:15And to esteem them very highly in love for their work's sake. [And] be at peace among yourselves.

Questions At The End Of The Day
Did anything happen today to cause anger toward your mate?
Were you tempted to think disapproving thoughts and to let them come out in words?

If you would like to share, then share in your blog, and leave a note in comment section, and link back to my blog. If you want to keep it personal then that is fine too :)

Make sure you have the book! I believe they sell it at Walmart, Target, or on-line at www.fireproofmymarriage.com. The book has space for you to keep track of your journey through each day.

The 40 Day 'Love Dare' Intro

2009-02-11T08:56:00.000-08:00

I am exited to have watched the movie "Fireproof", and am delighted to grow in my marriage journey! There is always room for growth in our marriages. In today's society the view on marriage is bleak. I fear many who are new to the faith,or perhaps have never been taught, do NOT have the proper view of marriage . It is my conviction and hearts desire to share what God has done in my marriage and how we can continue to grow to be the wives God has intended us to be. Your marriage is the foundation! If you are struggling in your marriage, then the rest of the family unit will suffer.

So here I am with this blog :) I will list the 40 days of 'The Love Dare' here, and also blog about my personal experiences. I would love for this to be a place where we as ladies can share and encourage one another. This will not however be a place to vent your anger about your mate. It is a place to exhort, edify and help one another. I encourage you to BUY 'The Love Dare'. It can be found on-line or even at places like Walmart. There is a link to the site here where I bought my book on-line.